Another Day, They're Still Away

Sitting with a hot bowl of cream of wheat, Gypsy Kings "Roots," playing in the back ground, SuicideGirl well fed and sleep, and Little Cinnabun--out like a flickering light on the couch; I feel a call to write.

It's been eight days of having no other living souls in this house and I am finally not looking to do or get or become a nine headed hydra or harpy (depends on the situation), or be a comforting wife or mommy. It really is strange. Granted, I am still needed here--Cinnabun and Suicide girl don't demand much, but they are in need of me. It has been such a long time since I have been left with just a baby and me... seven years now, however it is the early days of nearly twelve years past; yet, even in those days, SailorStudMan was only away for a whole day's work or I was in university classes with a sleeping Eldest in a car-seat and about to do the tag and pass to StudMan for the next class. 

...It's just different...
I miss my family. I am tired of now wondering if those bumps in the night are something else... now that I am mentally aware that, that is not Eldest coming to tell me something in the middle of the night, or CrazyOne needing to be woken up to go to the bathroom...
We are still working on that, so far the Malem Night Time Alarm has been such a savior well worth the $89 we paid for it two years ago. No more wet sheets in the night and all that it in tells of trying to quickly change it so you and the very sleepy child can go to bed again. I must add the need of wearing pull ups at night is gone as long as the alarm is worn and the wallet rejoices. CrazyOne's self-esteem skyrocketed once we got the hang of it and once she learned to stop going once that alarm and vibration by her ear when off. She sleeps like the dead... or better yet, like a sailor's first day back from deployment off the ship. She finally has potty dreams; dreams that involve water or a bathroom. They are finally good dreams instead of the nightmares she use to have when she needed to go. She only wakes up once in a while but hopefully soon she'll be waking up all the time before the alarm goes off. She wants to do sleep overs without sneaking pull ups in her backpack.
...Still different...
It is a beautiful hot and humid day right now. All the cicadas (the six different ones I hear right now) are all in full song, and I have no Eldest lounging around in true pre-teen style waiting or texting for friends or asking me if she can go to the pool, or begging me for yen to go out in town with them.
Eldest has changed much. We went from sullen, cranky to learning to kind of be sarcastic, witty, sweet girl. I know she is going to go back to the sullen cranky... all girls do when they become a teen.

It is hard on the CrazyOne. She's loosing her sister to the need of becoming her own-self and having her own time and space, CrazyOne just looks so down and depressed when her big sister is going on day three of hanging out exclusively with friends. It isn't easy reining that in and enforcing a moratorium on socializing without the fam and I got sick of fighting her on it--damn it! (added that in there for you Baby, SailorStudMan) So I took her aside one day and told her, everyone needs their time with their own, to stretch those wings the parents works so hard on ensuring come in well, but you will not nor cannot live and act like you are not apart of this family and that we are a major inconvenience to you. We are always here for you thick or thin skull or skin. You must always reconnect with your loved ones regardless of how you feel. We are your safe harbor, we are your fanatically rabid fan base, we are your deadly ninja assassins, we are your Alexander's army, we are your silly sillies, we are cheer squad, we are comedy club; we are your family: a dog, two sisters, a dad and a mom. We will not let you go, so don't try. After that talk, I haven't had any more than expected problems.

This year she is going to middle school at her request and daddy's blessing. I am not happy but I am going under protest with this. I miss her already and school hasn't even began. It will be what it will be.
CrazyOne finally gets to be the acting older sibling this year. She is set and firm on no school institutions at all. It will be nice school just her, she gets her time in the sun this time round.


~sigh~ I hear the little one grunting more often than not... that is my que,
I need to wrap this up and get some pictures added.
Take care and thankx for droppin by,
Hope you like the Photo Booth pictures.
Matta ne!